Fear of rejection stops most guys at the first hurdle. They see a beautiful girl, freeze up wondering what to say, and then do nothing. If you manage to get past that stage and actually talk to her, or your lucky enough to introduced to a girl at a social event, you’re going to have to push past your fear of rejection to move on to the next step. Unless you’re going to take her home that night, you’re going to need her number.

My guess is if you meet a girl you like and you want her phone number, you do one of two things:

1. Nothing – You worry that she’ll say no, so you don’t ask
2. You fluff arond asking her for her number awkwardly

If you’re like most guys, you probably do nothing. It’s OK – we all worry about being rejected. But if you really want to improve your dating life you’re going to have to man up and face the fear. If she says “no” nothing bad will happen, apart from maybe a little knock to your ego.

I’d love to tell you there’s a magic way to ensure that every girl will say yes. There isn’t, sorry – life’s a bitch, eh? If you want to be a bit smoother than asking “Can I have your phone number?” here’s what I usually do. Let’s imagine I’m at a bar, I’ve been talking to a girl for 15 minutes and I think she might be interested:

Me: “Hey, I have to get back to my friends, they’ll think you’ve kidnapped me or something. Been good talking to you”.
Her: (laughing) “Yes, you too”
Me: “You’re fun – we should have a drink together another time”
Her: “OK. Erm, give me your number and I’ll call you”

(Note: If you’ve done a good job earlier, she’ll often offer you her number at this point. I’ve assumed here this girl hasn’t)

Me: “haha, you’ll never call – you’re a girl. You’ll get all shy and embarrassed and wonder what to say. Tell you what, we’ll swap”
Her: “sure”

It really doesn’t need to be more difficult to that. Getting her phone number should not be your goal. You want her to be excited about the thought of seeing you again. if she is, exhanging phone numbers becomes automatic.

Finally, I like to save my number in her phone as something funny like “Darren, hot guy from X bar”. When I call her over the next couple of days, it will appear on her screen and she’ll laugh as she remembers the good time we had talking in the bar.

Remember, you won’t get anywhere without asking. What have you got to lose?

Photo by hessiebell