A few years ago, I used to flatshare with a guy who wasn’t nearly as good with girls as he should have been. He was decent looking, well dressed, smart and fun to hang out with. There were a bunch of reasons he didn’t get together with as many women as he should have done, but one of the things that always struck me was the state of his bedroom. It literally stank. Even though he was in his late twenties, he still lived like a student – dirty clothes piling up everywhere, a thick layer of dust over everything, half eaten pizza under the bed. I once had a word and said “mate, even if you do a girl back home, there’s little chance she’s going to want to spend the night in there!”

I’m hoping that your place isn’t quite as bad as that, but I do think a lot of guys overlook a few things that can help them when inviting a girl back to their place. The easier you can make it for her to come home with you and the more comfortable she feels once she’s there, the more chance you will have of getting some action. Here’s a few tips to help you out with getting her back to your place.

Do you want to come back for coffee?

I wouldn’t suggest you actually use the “come back for coffee” line, however there is a good reason this has become a bit of a cliché. Most girls are unlikely to accept an invitation of “do you want to come back to my place and have sex with me?” Better to have another reason to take her home. Maybe one last drink, or to show her something cool that you’d been telling her about on your date.

When it comes to sex, girls like the idea that it “just happened”. In other words, it shouldn’t be too planned or contrived. The feeling should be that one thing led to another and you both just couldn’t control yourselves. That said, you still need to be in a place where things are able to “just happen”, so have a good reason to take her home.

Even better, why not offer to cook for her as your date? That way you get to impress her with your culinary skills (assuming you have some that is) and you don’t have the awkwardness of trying to invite her home afterwards – you’re already there.

Keep it clean

If you plan to get down and dirty when you get her home, make sure your place is clean and tidy. Piles of dirty clothes lying around, a layer of dust on everything and a stack of week-old washing up in the sink is not likely to set the mood for a bit of romance. If in doubt, hide it away. If you are really bad at this, pay somebody to clean your “love-shack” once a week.

What does your place say about you?

As soon as she walks through your door, she’ll be looking for clues to find out more about the kind of person you are. There’s nothing at all wrong with helping her along a bit with this. If you’ve got some great photos of you having fun and doing cool stuff with friends and family, make sure they’re on display. Travel a lot? A few travel guides and some framed photos of cool places you’ve visited will let her know that.

If you’ve got CDs or books on display, make sure they tell her something good about you. Hint: a collection of “Kylie Minogue Megamixes” or an entire bookshelf of computer programming books are probably not the best idea.

The morning after

I know it’s easy not to worry about this until she’s actually spent the night with you, however I’d suggest you do a bit of forward planning. At the very least, make sure you’ve got ready:

• Clean towels
• A big T-shirt for her to sleep in
• A spare (unused!) toothbrush

It’s worth doing this as it will make her decision to stay over easier. She’s probably nervous and has a lot to think about, why not make it a bit easier and more comfortable for her?

So, don’t make too big deal about inviting her back to your place, and make sure your home reinforces the great things she already thinks about you. Do this right, and the rest should happen pretty easily.

Tags: common mistakes, dating

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| Comments (1) | May 6th, 2009