Whenever I am out socially, or teaching men how to meet women, I see guys making the same mistakes over and over again. Here are five common mistakes most men make, and how you can avoid doing the same.

#1 Waiting for something to happen

Head out to a bar in London, or anywhere else in the world, on a Saturday night and the picture’s very much the same. Lots of girls dancing and having fun, and a group of guys standing around drinking beer and hoping that something will happen.

Do yourself a favour and don’t be that guy – get away from the comfort of your male group and actually go and meet some of the women in there. You never know one of them might actually like you…

#2 Trying to hard to impress her

Have you ever heard the expression “a rich man doesn’t need to tell you he’s rich”? What it means is, people who are genuinely self-confident will not go to great lengths to persuade you how cool they are. They just spend their time “being cool” and others pick up on that.

I could write a whole book on “how to just be cool” so for now, just consider this. If you find that you’re going out of your way to explain what an awesome guy you are, you are probably not being cool. Yes, you do want her to realise this, but let that happen by telling her great stories, making her laugh, and acting confident. She’ll pick up on it without you needing to tell her.

#3 Trying to buy her attention

Yes, yes, girls like to be bought things. You don’t need to be a genius to work that one out. But, so many guys end up spending a fortune on a girl or girls, only to be told “sorry, I only really like you as a friend”.

If you’re at a bar and you’ve just met her it’s fine to buy her a drink while you’re getting one for yourself. But, don’t fall into the trap of buying her a drink for the sake of it, or so that you’re guaranteed her attention for the next 20 minutes while she drinks it.

I love to take my girlfriends out for dinner and splash out now and again. But, if I’ve just met a girl and perhaps we’re meeting up for the first time, I’ll usually just meet for drinks somewhere and not make too much of a show of it. Why spend a fortune on a girl you barely know yet? She won’t respect you for it, and it will set a frame for your relationship going forward.

#4 Fumbling around for her phone number

“It’s been, urm, cool, we should, urm, hang out sometime. Could I get your, urm, number?”. I’ve heard these words or similar so many times it makes me cringe.

Let’s say you’ve met an attractive girl and you seemed to hit it off. Tell her so – she’ll like you even more for your confidence. Don’t be shy – tell her you think she’s great and you’d love to go for a drink over the next couple of weeks. If you do it right, she’ll offer her number without you even needing to ask.

#5 Not making a move to kiss her

Even though a girl may like you and be dying to kiss you for the first time, she will rarely make the first move. You’re the man, that’s your job. Most guys leave it way to late before they pluck up the courage to go for the kiss, if they do it at all.

Grow some balls, and make a move. She’ll like you all the more if you do.

Tags: common mistakes, dating, meeting women

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| Comments (1) | April 17th, 2009